Sunday, February 06, 2005

Retreat....!

Ive been trampled for so long and i have allowed myself to be reduced to nothingness because of fear- fear of independence, fear of failure and criticisms. I found myself a victim of what Rollo May described as the fear of independence, the greatest fear mostly experienced by women in contrast to men's 'fear of dependence.'After i broke up with my ex bf in a 7-year relationship, i entered into several virtual relationships. they were all fleeting except for a peculiar relationship with marco which stressfully tore me into pieces after more than a hundred breakups and reconciliations. I have loved. i have trusted. i have spent an awful lot in my search for emotional security. yet, i still found myself alone and broken. IM TIRED OF CHASING AFTER RAINBOWS.I have recently heard a strong assurance.. from God. when He said..."I will never abandon you nor forsake you. What can man do to you? "
I retreat. i submit myself unto His care. I maybe alone now and lonely. But i am not entirely alone. Because God, the Creator and provider of all good things is mindful of me and He Loves me. I know that what i am feeling now is merely temporary. Cheer up. Life isnt so bad.
p.s. this is my favorite color :)

klouise danced at 8:50 PM